doubt not... fear not...

there are times when i doubt myself. in fact, i doubt myself a lot though not as much as i used to. and i have tendencies to doubt others as well...

and then there's fear...

which comes first? doubt? or fear?

and how do we 'fear not'? and are there some things we should fear? and when does that type of fear cross over into something that's irrational?

i've just had a lot of things going through my mind lately...

maybe i'm just tired...

productive member of society

i am once again a productive and contributing member of society and am gainfully employed. i got a call tuesday afternoon a few hours after i posted the last blog entry. the diagnostic imagining department would like me to join their team and i will be starting the new job on monday, july 9th...

good news. but i'm nervous. i know i can do the job, but coming from a job i loved and excelled in, i hope i can find some sense of accomplishment and challenge. no more free trips to mexico on the company if i do a great job and meet my goals. i'm gonna miss that...

and i already miss my co-workers. they were wonderful...

but i don't want to dwell in the past. i can remember it fondly, but have to keep in perspective that it is my past. this is my present and the future is what i will make of it...

so, it's off to start another new chapter in this book of my life...

snap out of it

so i had two interviews last thursday. both of them were for clerical positions with the hospital system here in newport. one for the diagnostic radiology department and the other for the internal medicine department...

it is now tuesday and i haven't heard back from either of them. i am not used to rejection regarding employment and am not having a lot of patience waiting to hear something back. i am afraid i'm going to end back up at wal-mart and while i'm not too good to work at wal-mart if i have to, i don't want to. i've been there done that and have too many great skills that will go unused as a cashier...

so i think maybe i should start my own business. but what would i do? what am i passionate about that would fly in newport, oregon?

just what am i passionate about? i don't know that i'm passionate about anything right now. i don't play my guitar much anymore. or sing. and i don't write often at all. i can't remember the last verse i wrote. i just feel inadequate in a lot of aspects...

and i don't know what i need to do to snap out of it...